Dave [RIOT]
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| Thursday, September 14th, 2006 | | 9:43 am |
| | Saturday, August 26th, 2006 | | 4:10 pm |
Nearly the end of summer...where do I stand?
Man, oh man. I thought it wasn't going to be an eventful summer. Wow, was I wrong! Here's my awesome things that left marks: Month of June--Stacy left DC3, but I still learned a lot from that final class: Photography. I loved it. First weekend of June--I saw Christian again. After 4 full years. Ha, he still looked the same to me and I still looked the same to him. He noticed I was nervous. We had good times then. Drew in his box and gave him crap about his 'womanly curves.' I didn't think to much into any of it. And here we are now.... Month of July--Feeling near death this close hadn't happened before. Then, I met College Algebra. It was a nasty month. I went crazy several times. The month of July also happens to hold the time that Christian and I got back together. We're a bit odd, aren't we. And a few days after, he thought wisely. Enough of the crap and something about GO BIG OR GO HOME? I could give a fuck less what people think about us. We dated forever in high school and because of my immaturity we had a long break. I've never met anyone else like him. And that's good. He can be himself around me and I can be a mad rambler around him. It's pretty sweet. I have no flaws. I've found my place. But yes, with all that rambling said, We're getting married. When? No exact date. But soon? I'm feeling pretty confident about it. Sure, moving and moving on scares me a bit, but who isn't? I'll miss a good portion of my Dodge City friends and all that junk including my family and baby tumbles. But it's only physical. I'll still be there, right? July 22-23rd! WARPED TOUR! I saw many great bands and like always, Denver was fabulous. Antiflag, Against Me!, THE CASUALTIES, Thursday, NOFX! So many great bands. Met Jake/Meggers of the casualties, Thursday, Tom of Against me and damn. my mind has gone blank! Eh, Hopefully I'll recollect my memory soon so I can finish out my warped weekend description. I need to leave this town. It's suffocating me. Beginning of August, I took a trip to see my favorite person. I'm sorry. It's true. I've picked favorites. My heart, love, school, and other stuff are located on the other side of the state. There's nothing like waking up as I did there. Better than marshmallows being thrown at you. I wasn't edgy and I wasn't about to snap. I was calm, sleepy (haha), and for the sake of cheese: In LOVE! And I still am. More than yesterday. He was right and I agree that there's no words to describe this. Hahaha: HORSE FUCKING BULLSHIT! Kansas City Reversal What time is it? Let's go inside. !Xobile ^Lovely phrases that made up that weekend. It was all grand except for two things. Wrecks and bites. Damn that Lily, the cat that bit me. She bites pretty hard. There was a grand discovery of vitamins and a greater desire to sell my kidney on the black market to afford art school. KCAI is amazing and the coincidence of staying at a hotel across the street from there is mind-blowing. City of fountains. I'll never forget the punk rock proposal.....or the time or all the naps I took or guy's cooking. He put me out of commission. Stay at home husband? Working wife? Why not? I'll write more on this trip later, maybe...? So now it's August and I've been in school for a week and a half. I'm already thinking of dropping a class. I want my work to be graded on quality rather than 'how cute it looks.' My lover was here for about a week. And goddamn did I turn emo when he left. It was one hell of a week. A lot of fun pictures were taken. I'll have them up online someday. It was fun going to work thinking of my fiance sleeping in the car. And walking around the college as if we were back in high school was fun. There was one thing we could do without: my stupidity and my parents' yelling. No boxes, I'm sorry hun. Anyway...I guess that's good for now? I'm rambling incoherently again. So as for now, i'll just leave you with a fuck you farewell... :) | | Thursday, June 29th, 2006 | | 12:55 pm |
I am a dork...
I guess I'm going to start treating valentine's differently...or maybe not. I am totally taken. Feeling happier than shit. My lover is the best. And he's all mine :D | | Wednesday, May 24th, 2006 | | 12:46 pm |
| | Monday, February 20th, 2006 | | 1:30 pm |
| | Friday, February 10th, 2006 | | 10:17 am |
Mad Rush
So it's the end of the week and I'm feeling just as stressed now as I did at the beginning. I have much plans this weekend. Sadly, none of them include going out of town. That was fun. Just driving somewhere. I got to hang out with Carlos, my buddy. I miss shit like that. Today is the only chance I get to do something other than what i have planned. Saturday plans: Work and go check out a movie with Brian, GF of Punk. He is leaving this town. As much as i hate the idea, I know it's for the best. This town sucks. It's killing us all. I'll never forget the day I was stopped and questioned for the shirt I was wearing at the mall. Hahaha good times. Sunday plans: Hell, I might go to church if I'm forced to go. Time between then and 5 is usually completely lost. 6:00pm I will be attending a play at the depot. I used to work there. The food is always good. The plays are even better. And then after all that, we'll be back to monday. And let the stress begin! oh wait, it won't stopped... Next week: Valentine's day-my plans? The usual. Go to school/it's production day! (Not reproduction day...) in pub lab. Go to lessons. No work! Yay, that's the only love. It's my cousin's birthday, but of course, i'll remain in town. He lives in wichita. oh well. I'm sure, I'll be dearly missed just like every year. I'll work out and then go home and sleep. Wow, what a day. Wow, what a shitty holiday. There's nothing like telling the person you love all year round, that you love them. What a day. YOUR MOM! Prom. We shall be making a trip up to wichita next saturday to check out dresses. I'm not into this so the cheapest/crappiest dress will do. No matter the location/retailer. My sister wants to get something nice so that's probably why we'll be traveling so far. I hate going to wichita with my dad. Going with my bro is a lot more relaxed and fun. I saw Jorge (my friend/adopted brother/prom date) the other day walking out of hasting's. I had but only a brief second with him. Which was enough to say hello. I miss my buddies. I do. The emo kid shall now remove herself to go cry. That and i have to get to class.... | | 10:07 am |
Not a genius
So I thought I could take the test and do well on it. Class: Biology. COnfidence: All time low. I didn't do well at all. Multiple choice was fine. It was the rest of the test. Example of a fill in the blank: Organisms something or other organic soup because they were ____and ____. I put thirsty and hungry. No joke. I just didn't know the answer. This sucks. I knew the order of organized life and characterization of living organisms and the taxa crap...but none of it mattered in the "rest of the test." I got a couple of the extra credit. I am sure this will not save me. Better luck next time is all I can say. Speaking of Biology! Time: for funny story. I didn't attend lab because I was too busy with the art demonstration last week. We happened to be having a quiz that day, one that I didn't care to much to make up and was going to let slide. Apparently it was worth 50% of the lab. The teacher gave me a "you're not in high school anymore. This is college," speech. I understood it just fine. I took the quiz and i think i did well on it. Who knows. That is the funny story. And i found five dollars and hooked up with a stripper. Good ending. | | Thursday, February 9th, 2006 | | 12:31 pm |
To you :)
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU AREN'T SHIT. FUCK YOU. ...okay, I'm done. | | Wednesday, February 8th, 2006 | | 10:32 pm |
past vs. present
The things that kept me strong back then are slowly breaking me down now. | | Monday, February 6th, 2006 | | 10:26 pm |
........
Sigo el camino de baldosas amarillas I follow the yellow brick road mientras oigo tus mentiras por útlima vez While hearing your lies for the last time llevo mi diario con las páginas en blanco I have my diary with blank pages y me siento tan vacía como ayer And I feel so empty like yesterday Voy de antro en antro como un gato sin tejado I go from den to den like a cat without a roof al que nadie le enseño a caer de pie The one who no one showed how to land on its feet creo que he jugado en el bando equivocado I believe that I’ve played in the wrong party y me voy acostumbrando a perder And I’m getting used to losing Y hoy no me vale un te quiero And today, I don’t care for an “I love you” no me vale un lo siento I don’t care for an “I’m sorry” no me valen tus excusas I don’t care for your excuses ni tus flores de alquiler Nor your rented flowers Hoy no me valen los recuerdos Today, I don’t care for the memories que nos quedan hoy tan lejos That today are farther away que no saben ser un cuadro en la pared That don’t even know how to be a frame on the wall Pierdo la mirada en esas calles olvidadas I lose my sight on these forgotten streets donde antes me jurabas lo que hoy no crees where you swore what you don’t believe today hoy no somos nada y en tu casa encantada Today we’re nothing and in your enchanted home se marcharon los fantasmas para no volver The ghost marched away, never to return. No me valen tus excusas ni tus flores de alquiler I don’t care for your excuses nor your rented flowers que no sabe ser un cuadro en la pared That don’t even know how to be a framed on the wall…. -By La Quinta Estacion -Poor translation by Dave | | 7:11 pm |
Yesterday goes into the books.
One year. (As of yesterday.) I remember the day when i first heard the news about the wreck. My heart burned. I was hoping he'd make it, but that was a selfish thought. He passed away after a week and then some and finally laid to rest. It's been a year and I must say, I'm still in shock. Freddy, you were a dear friend to me. I miss you. Looking back on all those crazy days in Ms. Smith's classroom...I'm glad I met you...In that hallway at school. Downstairs. I was making interviews for some project I had going on in broadcasting and you were wearing a yellow shirt. We shared lockers right beside each other and sat one person away at graduation. Te estrano. R.I.P. Freddy Ontiberos April 12,1986-February 5,2005 ............ | | Sunday, February 5th, 2006 | | 7:22 pm |
Sink In
I never meant to justify my own heart break with the breaking of others' hearts. Elaboration is to follow at a later time or date. Now, it's time to witness football, though it is of no interest to me, with my brother at applebee's because silent television kicks ass. "Love will leave us lonely." I look not for that. In search of friendships with greater meaning. Can you give me that? | | 7:14 pm |
Action Action
There's a strong belief surging in the air that I may have spent approximately three dollars and 50 cents buying bouncy balls. That is a total of 14 balls. Though, when I shook my bag out with crap and what not pouring out, 14 did not seem to be the magic number. That and I wasn't really counting. My jar is now still almost full. A work out was definitely worked that morning. Events of yesterday are as followed: 3:00pm-I finally got my dad to okay my trip to garden. 6:20pm-Finally left Dodge for Garden. First time driving on my own which means driving without an escort or immediate family member. As passenger, I opted for Carlos, the adopted brother. We haven't hung out in what seems years. It was cool to do so. This is an obvious sign that we need to hang out more. 0:00pm-Time remains unknown. First attempt at passing another vehicle-STATUS: Failed. By the time I switched into the other lane, I realized I could not, in fact, make it. Slowed down. Headed back behind the shitty white van. A couple of yards later, I was finally able to pass the van. Carlos made a grand observation. The driver was on a cell phone. Shitty fuck. That's why it kept speeding faster and then going slower. 7:--something pm-We find Sixteen Mile Road, Our turning instructions. Damn dirt road! Long story to that. Skip. Dirt was everywhere! I couldn't see. Oh well. We found Jake's house just fine. Time beyond this point is undetermined due to the lack of rehearsal in the memory information process. We all head off to the bowling alley. Sight: Car wreck. Bad? Could be, but who knows? Misdirected into going somewhere, an end we didn't want to meet. Hard Rock Something. ehm...ehm...then what to do? Find the last bowler. That's what. Not at the 'house in front of...' Driving directions send us turning here, turning there, taking a right, going straight, turn left, make an immediate right, and then stop. Horrible with introductions. Also, quite bad at parking, too, but that has never been a secret. There was a place. Dark and cold. There was a wave and a bad interpretation. There was a door. OPEN/ENTER. Brother Craig? Yep. Full car, boys. Driving directions: Just go straight. Used words while driving straight: son of a bitch. hijo de su reputa madre. goddamn it. SHIT! fucking crap. The list may either go on or has already been exaggerated. Umm? Ah yes: Location-Bowling alley w/ no lanes open. The chosen alley of GC resembles the same as the one found in DC. Only difference. Better fuck/around games in GC's and DC's is better because it has double the amount of lanes. No waiting. There we were. Idea! Not mine. I was only a driver. Drive. Directions: 75% unclear. House? Park? Lock the doors. Walk. Basement. Band? WTF? Myspace gathering...Or so it seemed. Staring contest. One loser, one winner. Shoes. Comment. Reply: "Seriously, shut the fuck up." Memories? Last a lifetime. So Nick may finally say what he's been saying and be truthful. Now it is certain that he has seen me because i have seen him. Though it still isn't certain. I was hiding behind Carlos. Music. Deafening. Getting sleepy...which wasn't a good thing because I didn't want to drive back to dodge feeling sleepy. Never a good way to go. The end? Ah, yes. Bowling. No lanes open. Fourth in line to wait. Wait some. Play games, some. Skeeball owns! Little kid approaches the playing area. "I wanna play..." So what do we do? I put in a quarter and let him have his play and sure enough, I didn't feel like an asshole... :) Much more bouncy ball craze followed that. Dave is all talk and absolutely no walk. Four frames, all gutter balls. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Bad game. Thanks Carlos, the distractions helped. Second game. All right. Second place. "I'm not going to lose to you!"-Jake. I managed a strike. A few spares. -Blank memory- Some how it's cinderella's time to run home. She doesn't wear slippers. Opts for chucks instead. Removes the bowling shoes. We take the brothers back to the place. Go straight. Same instructions. After many turn rights/lefts, "right there" seems interpreted the same way. No, right there! Ah, I see. Dave is retarded. Park. Shake hands. Apology for: No ice cream. Rain check? Sure. Next-Hand shake. STATUS: Failed. Hands/Jacket pockets-Make the connection. Drive back. Dirt road. House. Bathroom. Wash face. I AM ALERT! fish? mom. Weird dog. It looked more like a lion. Bid farewells. Drink more yoo-hoo...More dirt road. HIGHWAY! The rest of the drive home was pretty interesting. Car karaoke. Lyrics were mismatched and carlos laughed. Carlos had chosen the music. I was about to die. My Chemical Romance. I used to like them. I still listen to the older stuff. Unfortunately, he had chosen the newer release. Damn shame. I was saved by the transition to radio. Great save! More singing to more songs...which we hardly knew. The concept of cops coming out of corn fields was thought about. Determining whether an approaching vehicle had its brights on was a challenge. Remembering to switch my own was also a challenge. More driving. Time moves fast. We're in dodge. I'm a crack head. Late night food at McDonald's. Ick. Though that was the only place open and I as always, was hungry. Food for me. Food for Carlos. Stuff your face. Read...set...go! I haven't a clue what we talked about as we sat out in the car while eating our food. Good times. Good times. Current Mood:  blank | | Friday, February 3rd, 2006 | | 7:27 pm |
The Doctor Is In
Howdy. I just got off work an hour and ten minutes ago. Today sucked. Partially. I got completely drained of any energy whatsoever towards the end of my shift. I got to paint. That was fun. I'll never hear the same words i heard there here at home. One kid said, "That's cool!" Another girl and her younger brother stopped and started conversing with me. It's cool to run into kids that have the same interest as you. Also cool to meet the future generations of artist. She liked how i was painting. Freehand. Told me her stories with drawing. I love hearing shit like that. I truly get fed up with people bitching about how they can't draw and if they can, all they can do are stick figures. Bull. It's all just practice. Patience. I have no patience, but i do have passion. I guess that's what most people don't have. I used to believe that it was just something i was born with because i've been drawing since i believe, the first day i picked up a crayon, pen, or pencil. I thought it had something to do with my hands. But I heard a quote...and i'm going to fuck it up..."It's not what your hands do, but what your eyes see." That's what drawings about. Drawing what you see. And i have a hard time believing that people can't see or see stick figures. Just my perception. It was a cool moment. Damn. i'm tired. My feet hurt and I feel a slight migraine coming. My room is partially clean. I just have to vacuum and clean my desk and I'm done. My mom is forcing me to take her to the mall. Shall i listen? I have no life, therefore I have no choice. So far, since coming home from work, i've taken time to eat something quick, take my sister to pay a bill, and now i'm off to take the people to the mall and my younger sister to her friend's house. Hmm...where's the fairness? Out the fucking window. I don't understand. My sister works and goes to school. My mom works. My old sister goes to school. I go to school and work and drive them around. When i ask to borrow the car for something other than school or work, I'm told that I can't have everything in the world and that the car's not mine, and i can't be my own boss. What's the point of living if I can't live my own life? -writer's suicide- I got plans. To get the fuck out. If I'm seen as just being an immature rat and what not, GO FUCK YOURSELF. I don't let things get to me easily and quickly, but this has dragged on far too long. I think this is my change.... I want to go bowling tomorrow. I'm ready with arguments to present to my father. I'm washing the car tonight and with that I'll get the chance to talk to him one on one. If shit doesn't work out, I'm telling him I'm lesbian or something and that i'm dropping out of school. My parents are nuts...(The homework thing...) My cold keeps going. My nose keeps running. My head keeps spinning. But i'm all right. Fuck going to the doctor. Seems like just a case of the common cold. I'm mexican. I'll wait it out. I still have a bill from the doctor for going. My parents convinced me to go. (this was after the wreck.) I listened, they said they'd get the insurance business to take care of it. They didn't. Now i have a huge bill from the medical place for $330 past due and another from the MRI place for 1,000 or more...All because the bastards wanted to make sure everything was all right because they couldn't tell from the simple xray. I just don't think the chick knew what she was doing. Oh well. I would've just gone on that xray and said everything was A-okay. After all, it was... I'm dead tired. But my life is over. Now i must serve to the others because I guess, this is what they've assigned to me. FUCKYeah...Fuck you, too... Current Mood:  pissed off | | 12:05 am |
| | Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | | 11:10 pm |
The plan is… and other rambles
Mikalah is all right. She has three broken spots in her back and one in her neck. She is back in Dodge. She has two felonies so far. I know what she did wasn’t too smart and should be expected with great consequence because she deserves it, but this is no reason to break friendships. I’m there in support. Somehow. Man. Don’t judge me for my decisions. You are no one to judge. Don’t judge her for bad decisions either. You are no one to judge. This is one main reason why I stray away from church. No one can judge others except God, right? That’s not what I see. The plan is now back to the original idea. Hopefully. It is a few minutes away from being Friday and I have yet to ask my dad. I’ll either get my brother or Arturo to go with me. Bowling shall be fun. One bowler will be counted out. He marked himself out right at the beginning. Funny since he was the one with the idea. Oh well. I will be sure to be kicking some ass. That’s for sure. You know? I’ve lead a sheltered life. It’s true. Joking about it means nothing. I’m not escorted when I want to go out. My dad has always been asked to join when going to warped. He likes it there. That’s why he goes. It hasn’t been the case of parental supervision. He’s tough. Strict. He’s simply overprotective….I don’t know why I’m writing this. Someone was finally hired for the position at the library. She starts Monday. All for fun stuff. It’s about time, too. Today was fucking fun. I skipped out on a bio lab quiz, all to attend an art demonstration. A talented teacher of Ft. Hays University came to show us how she does her work out of molds. We plastered ourselves then made the molds stronger and finally placed clay inside. It was fun as shit! I got crap all over my clothes. It was all worth it. I was told I have beautiful hands. That woman…she was so fucking alive. (Shut up Jake!) Something about her energy made me feel alive as well…positive woman. She showed us a slide show of her work and I must say…IT’S FUCKING AMAZING STUFF! I’m glad I went to school today. The plan was to skip out, but since there was so much mandatory shit going on, that wasn’t an option. I just felt horribly sick in the morning. My nose is so stuffed at the moment. At least it’s not hurting like before. Damn sinus pain. That is all. I’m tired of typing and stuff. | | 11:05 pm |
She has no soul. So lost without you. Or so you thought.
Communication remains yet to be seen and tested. Traded words belong in days of the past. A place, there, will never wait for her. It keeps rolling back farther, unreachable, even when stretching out. She will never see him again. Blank thoughts resurface in mind. She keeps them there. She doesn’t want to be thinking of anything. She traps herself out of any new possibility. If it hasn’t happened before, today won’t be that day. No one’s looking in. No one bothers to eavesdrop. There will be no listening. No one shall wonder. No one shall question. Beggars will look farthest as possible. Her remains won’t be bothered to be looked for. Easiest to fracture with a world so… Fill her in. She doesn’t want to be alone. Her day never rooms. Her day calendar has of no use. No pages are torn. New pages are never viewed. She waits. Alone. She smiled today, you know. She smiled for you. Were you there to see? Were you there to ask why she was smiling? Did you even know she was smiling? Oh, of course not. You were too busy with yourself. That’s fine. You were never wanted nor needed. The cycle continues. | | 12:27 am |
| | Wednesday, February 1st, 2006 | | 9:34 am |
Today's update.
I'm soooooo sleepy. That nyquil did absolutely nothing for me. It made me sleepy. That's about it. I worked out yesterday. I'm feeling a bit sore. Not too bad. I didn't wake up at 5 am today like i said i would. I'm feeling more sick than ever. Man! I'm soooo tired. I almost fell asleep in Biology... I can't sleep in public, but when i'm that tired, it can happen. One more hour, then I can go home. Home=bed=pillos=sleep. Bowling on saturday, oh yeah! Jake/Steven, I'm sorry to say, but both of you are going down! Current Mood:  sleepier than shit... | | Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 | | 11:03 pm |
One fine day...(worthless rambles)
Biology class was cancelled. I was stressed out over a paper that was due today. I thought it was due one wednesday but remembered that to be untrue. I hurried and finished it. It was a piece of shit. Jake happened to agree. Though, his words were more like, "Wow! You can get away with a paper like this?"...or something along those lines. It put me in panic and I made some revisions. I went back to the pub lab to work on my page for the school paper. My hour off from bio class turned into being a complete waste of time. I couldn't work on my page because others were working on page four...which has to be opened with page five. When a page is being worked on, I can't go open it on a different computer. I went to drawing class an hour later. It was fun. I skipped it on thursday. Just wasn't in the mood. The teacher apparently took note of this because he was giving me shit today. Ha. Composition and I weren't working out today. No subliminal message intended. The goal for us today was to do a still life, but get all the objects on the page by measuring shit out. What can i say? I like to draw big. So he told me to do it again. I did. I got all my objects on. I got pretty far with shading. Although he always emphasizes to make sure the lines are correct before this step. I got my good jobs and compliments. I was happy. Too bad my family doesn't see what others see. My biggest critiques live under the same roof. According to my older sister, I can't draw... So! I get back at noon to pub lab, get my shit done after a bit of headline trouble. Headlines are not like titles. They must include a subject, predicate, and a verb. It must fit the top of the article exactly. Has to be a pica away from the letters in the article and what not. It's all right. I'm the headline goddess or well, that's my nickname in the class. I got done by 1:30. I had lessons at 3.30. I didn't really feel like going. I did. I got a voice mail too...my phone didn't ring. They wanted me to go to work, but i couldn't. Homework. I worked out. The stair climber thing kicked my ass...well more like my legs. Ouch. My dad and i fought again. I wanted to take off running. It all started with my sister making a shitty comment. Hag. I replied back. Got in trouble for that. It's fucking shitty. I wanted to do my homework, but i guess i'm only allowed to do homework only when it's not mine. huh... My nose is hurting. I'm going to take some nyquil and call it a night. Damn. Ah yeah. Thanks to you. Your mere thought of trying to cheer me up while I'm down helps and is one greatly appreciated. You nor anyone else has no fucking idea how much...FTW... |
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